During New Zealand hiking you can hear the strange things – people there are taking about kiwis as about citizens. What does New Zealand kiwi mean and why kiwis? They are talking about the small birds, which are the symbol of New Zealand. Residents of the country are madly in love with their symbol and call literally everything with this word. In addition to the bird and fruit you can read in a newspaper about the meeting of “kiwi President” and “kiwi Minister”. No, to call anyone a kiwi here is not a shame, on the contrary, the inhabitants often call themselves this way. So, with time living in New Zealand, you will slowly “being kiwitized”.
How to understand you have met the kiwi?
- Ship follow whim everywhere. There are a lot of them around. Although cows are more often rising as cattle now, there are still more sheep. They are even more than people as much as 9 times! And 20 years ago they were 20 or even 30 times more.
- His English is pure New Zealand language. Although he is fluent with other New Zealanders, he has confusion in the eyes of foreign English-speaking people. The thing is that most likely the foreigners don’t expect to hear ” bid” instead of “did”, and “het” instead of “hit”.
- Instead of the standard answer like cool, good, ok he almost always answer “sweet” or “sweet as”. In other situations he say “no worries”. And if he says both together, he is as New Zealand as it’s possible.
- He does the “barbie” on Friday evening after work. No, not the doll, just barbeque. His children go to “kindie”, and in the morning he eats “breakie”, because he does not have enough time for a full breakfast, as he is being late again.
- However, the fact that he is late, is not a reason to hurry up, right? Being late for the bus, he goes slowly anyway, what more the driver waits, so he does not even have to run.
- Like a typical New Zealand kiwi, he talk to strangers with a smile on the face. And he does it everywhere – in a cafe, at a gas station, on the street, wherever.
- He avoids straight talk. Instead of saying something directly (“you’re fired”, “you have a pimple on your nose”, etc.), he spends two weeks beating the bushes until the person guesses by himself.
- In the kitchen he is like a tornado, and dinner for 10 people is cooked by him for 5 minutes. At the same time the New Zealandkiwi pull out meat from the pack with one hand and sauce with other, mix them and leave in the oven for 3 minutes. Ready! He’s surprised to hear someone spend an hour or two in the kitchen for cooking dinner.
- Cold? Not for the New Zealand kiwis. While most foreigners wear in winter all the clothes they have, the New Zealand kiwis sit in shorts and feel fine. Well, maybe they put on a sweatshirt. They walk so no matter +15 or -2 degrees there is.
- His attitude to life is extremely easy and optimistic. Maybe even too much. The New Zealand kiwi finds it hard to believe that something bad is happening to him or feels indifferent. Even if he has the keys to the house, he still won’t lock the door – cause why should he do it? This way he doesn’t have to get out and put back the keys again and again.
- He trusts people, and they trust him. The New Zealand kiwi knows how the roadside trade works – next to the farms, he buys eggs, fruits, vegetables, flowers, honey and all that … with no salesman. Why has anyone sit there all day long if there’s a drawer where he can put the money for the food he wants to take?
- If you have met the New Zealand kiwi from a province, he will never see him locking his car in parking lot in front of a store. And if he goes out just for a couple of minutes, then he leaves the ignition keys in the lock. Just again – for what? The New Zealand kiwi lives on the small island, who and where will go in the car?
- He also likes to watch programs about the “real” problems of other New Zealand kiwis on TV. In the last episode on one of channels Eva Yavorovich has solved the problem with the broken glass of a shower cabin. It was like this: the glass had broken, the girl reported this to the seller where she had bought the cabin, and the seller replaced the shower cabin for a new one. End of the story, end of the program. And he is not even surprised that people here don’t have more serious problems.
- When the kiwi tells someone he is living in New Zealand, people imagine the hobbit land.
Surprised? That’s good, now you know what to expect from New Zealand hiking. I hope that the text was funny, but do not offend one the kiwis, because they are really very good people.